"I’m at a point of taking it from me".
As I saw the distance between where I was and the ground, that phrase echoed in my head. Wouldn’t it be better if I just had the guts to do it? Even for this I’m on the fence. Looking up and down, calculating the distance. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. The time for this to happen is getting ever faster. It will happen. Sooner or later. I know it will …
I took my plate with a huge steak, and rice, and salad. Dammit I was starving. The phone rang and it was him. Just one minute and my world became a mess. To give you an idea of the damage, it left me less than half a pack. A record for those who didn’t support it for months. It’s amazing how that’s the only thing that can calm me down. And as I saw the smoke rising out of the window, my demons took possession of me even and even more. And more. And more. And the only thing I could thought was: “I wish I was dead so I wouldn’t have to put up with me”. I saw the plate and it seemed without life. I was despising something that an hour ago it was the most amazing thing in front of me.
I wish I could have something that could cure me fast. Or I just need a good psychologist.